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Ankou Blake

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* head desk* [15 Feb 2010|11:56pm]
So i need a safe place to vent. No one has a lj anymore, at least not in my circle of friends, but maybe that's a good thing.

God dammit.

You like him, but so do I.

You'll hurt him. You'll use him just like every other guy you've dated. Maybe the reason your past relationships haven't worked out isn't because of the guy but because of you. But no, I'm sure that never occured to you. You're Ego is so huge that its began to make up stories to protect itself. You're not as good a friend as you think you are and you are certainly not as selfless as you claim to be. In fact you are the most spoild, selfish person I have ever met in my life.

Sometimes I don't even know why I'm friends with you. But for whatever reason, I am. And this is why I have nothing to say, no advice to give you. Sometimes you stay quiet because you know that what you have to say will hurt someone else. And that is where I stand. I love you but I hate you. Get over yourself. And god forbid you get your way again and get that boy, because if you hurt him, I will never forgive you.
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[30 Nov 2009|07:19pm]

Made my life
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Fucking really? [18 Aug 2009|07:17pm]
[ mood | drained ]

What else?

1 broken car
1 repoed car
1 sucky fucking job
lack of work
no money

What the fuck else while we're making life harder, huh? What the fuck else.

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[02 Jun 2009|02:26pm]
the Mortal Instruments six-word drabble-fest
the Mortal Instruments six-word drabble-fest
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Holy fucking crow [09 Mar 2009|12:17am]
This thing is so foreign to me....I haven't used this thing in a millennium, or so it feels like...maybe I should start again.
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[10 Mar 2007|04:42am]
I was so bored I played the Sims2 all day and the only image I managed to save out of all of the ones I took was this one:

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
His name is Tobias and he is my Gundam Wing self and Duo's daddy!

Anyway, yeah took a whole crap load of pics for all of my other sims and that was the only picture that came up....sad, I wanted all of my pics to post here and show my friends, since I made Sims out of all of us...anyway, enjoy my sexy father ~.^
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FUCK THIS SHIT [12 Jan 2007|11:58pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

This is my first real post in a long fucking time...I'm going to thank my Cookies and Cream for this one, but its a good kind of thank...I need to get this out.

I tried to not have a crush on you, I really did. I told myself when we started these stupid shenanigans that I would not let myself get too close to you. I knew your reputation, I knew your history, I mean, who could blame you, you're pretty and so I tried, even convinced myself that I was just using you as much as you were using me...I was content with that for a long time but then you started doing some things that got my mind confused and me, being the un-conscience narcissist, thought that you might actually like me as more than a friend...I didn't ask, the truth was, I didn't want to know because the thought of you actually liking me scared the hell out of me. Hell, I wasn't used to the physical attention you showed me let alone if there was anything emotional going on in that thick skull of yours. I pondered over the weird things you started doing as I always do when I think something is going on (even if nothing really is, like in this case) and I drove myself half-mad with the stupid idea. I told myself to let it lie and I did for a long time. I even started to get annoyed with you, the way you would tease me all the time...it just got so damn old and I was glad that I never said anything to you because I realize that if by some miracle you said you wanted more that just the physical I would have likely said I wanted the same. I realize that I would have never been able to actually date you...in fact, I probably wouldn't be able to stand you in those circumstances...but then you left back home for Christmas and New Years and when you came back, you're this completely different person...I'm not sure I like it, by the way, but you changed...and when I realized that it might be because you met someone (you even admitted to it, and guess what, I may have been drunk when you told me, but I still fucking remember) I must admit to you and to myself, because I'm tired of lying to myself about this, I felt a stab of jealousy, betrayal and even sadness...I know you're not mine...I'm not sure I want you to be, but still, I can't help this feeling...I guess I just feel worthless, something you use and then throw away and nobody should have to feel like that...I'm so confused over my own feelings and I don't like it...why do I keep doing this to myself, falling for guys I can't have...at least I don't love you, like I do him, but still there are some -- feelings...I wish I could stop this damn shit...I just keep going after the ones that don't really want me...I don't know which hurts more, having someone you love ignore you completely or having someone you've been intimate with and thought you had no feelings for drop you like a lead dime....Either way, both fucking suck and I just want to be done with it...but somehow I just know that this isn't going to be the end of it...

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[04 Jan 2007|09:53pm]

?? Which Season Are You ??

You're Most Like The Season Winter ...You're often depicted as the cold, distant season. But you're incredibly intelligent, mature and Independant. You have an air of power around you - and that can sometimes scare people off. You're complex, and get hurt easily - so you rarely let people in if you can help it. You can be somewhat of a loner, but just as easily you could be the leader of many. You Tend to be negative, and hard to relate to, but you give off a relaxed image despite being insecure - and secretly many people long to be like you, not knowing how deep the Winter season really is.Well done... You're the most inspirational of seasons :)
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

(Its scary just how true this is...0.o)

?? Which Creature Of The Sea Are You??

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[12 Oct 2006|07:33am]

I escaped from the Dungeon of AnkouBlake!

I killed Simply Lost Bnd the nymph.

I looted the Wand of Nathaniel Taylor, the Dagger of Taco Bell, the Sword of the Early November, the Armour of Nightwish and 3 gold pieces.

Score: 3

Explore the Dungeon of AnkouBlake and try to beat this score,
or enter your username to generate and explore your own dungeon...
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[14 May 2006|10:02pm]

Family Should Never Hurt You

Why are we so fucked up
What the hell is so wrong
Why can't everything just be fine?
What in the world did I ever do
To deserve a family like mine?
All I ever wanted was to be happy
But I guess that can never be so
And I'm just so damn sick
Of this constant touch and go
Why the hell can't we all just get along
Keep all our bad thoughts to ourselves
And smile and move along
This is starting to break me
In fact I think it already has
This screwed up situation
Has made me do some bad things
And family should never hurt you
I wish mine could just see that
But they are blind
And they can't see
All the shit they're raining down on me
And I know that I'm not perfect
I don't even pretend to be
I just want to be happy
That's it
That's all
It shouldn't be this fucking hard
And it doesn't even hurt anymore
I can't seem to feel
Maybe that's why I'm so god damned pessimistic
That's right
You made me this way
And family should never hurt you
Why the hell can't you all stop hurting me?!
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[14 May 2006|04:02pm]
I love my job.On Thurs I did a private party for the opening of Tatsu, the latest roller coaster at Magic Mountain and I saw stars....btw, Tatsu is scary as fuck. The list of stars that I saw is as follows:

-Mekhi Phifer
-Kelly Osbourne
-Cypruss Hill and Bishope Don Juan who reeked of fucking weed
-Paris Hilton who is even uglier in person than in her photos
-Jesse McCartney who looks different in person
-Mischa Barton
-Adam Brody
-Jessica Alba
-Mario Lopez
-Alfonso Ribeiro aka Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bell-Air
-Amy Smart who is the sweetest woman ever, I actually talked to her and she is so nice. I love her
-Bert from The Used...he is so funny, as he was walking down the red carpet, he was giving us high fives while we were in costume and he was saying "funnel cake, funnel cake, kill yourself, kill yourself" Plus, he bleached his hair, it looks horrible.
-Bleeding Through
-Jeremy Sumpter

So yeah, I love Magic Mountain.
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[05 Apr 2006|06:33pm]
Pink - The one who got away

I stood by the exit door in the hotel cafe
He was playing with his band
I've always been a sucker,
Had a weakness for a boy
With a guitar
and a drink in his hand
His words were like heaven in my hurricane
My knees buckled under
I thought everyone was watching me
Watching you save my life with a song

You were mine in the back of my mind
O, just for one night
Just for a while
There's always one that gets away
The one that sneaks up on you
Then slips away

Two weeks later I was sittin' in his apartment
He was makin' cappuccino
I said "what kind of man makes cappuccino?"
We laughed
We laughed
We laughed
We laughed
Till tears ran down my face
But my man you're someone else's man
And that ain't the man that I wanna want

But you keep drawin' me in
with those big brown (green) lyin' eyes

But you'll always be mine in the back of my mind
O, we had a night
Just a little while
There's always one that gets away
The one that sneaks up on you
Then slips away
In a closed off corner of my heart I'll always see your face
The one who got away

I'm not a victim of cliches
I don't believe in soulmates
Happy endings or the one
Oh but then I met you and all that changed
I had a taste

And you're still sitting on the tip of my tongue
You were mine
Somewhere in time
I'll look for you first
In my next life

But you'll always be mine in the back of my mind
O, we had a night
Just a little while
There's always one that gets away
The one that sneaks up on you
Then slips away
In a closed off corner of my heart I'll always see your face
The one who got away
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[11 Mar 2006|06:50pm]
I've broken my edge...I like wine coolers....I feel like I have just betrayed myself, even though I know that it's stupid to think that. Look at me, I'm just like every one else!

Its snowing.
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[10 Mar 2006|02:45pm]
I saw it snow for the first time, it wasn't much, but still, it was new to me
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A trip and violent fall down memory lane..... [02 Mar 2006|07:27pm]
I just went back in lj time, most of my former posts have been one of three things; 1. About Simply Lost, 2. Angsty 3. Quizzes and meme's

I wil repost some random shit just for the fun of it and I'm that bored. Lj cuts will be used for convinence....

May 14, 2004 MemeCollapse )
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[13 Feb 2006|12:28pm]
Lonely Valentine Part 2:

Another year has come to pass
Another chance that I have to say
"This year will be different"
But, no,
It has been the same year
That it always is
Another year spent cold an alone
Another chance to scorn those
Who are lucky in love
Another year to cry myself to sleep
Only to dream of the one who never wants me
The one I tried for
The only damn chance I took
And still regret taking
I knew the ending to that short story
But would it have killed you
To take a chance on me?
Forgive me if this hurts
But I hope this February day,
You're just as miserable as me
So maybe next year,
It will be different
And you'll be standing next to me
And we could chase away
Lonely Valentine days.
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[22 Oct 2005|05:07am]
It's 3 am, and let me just say that the Fall Out Boy video for Dance, Dance is some kind of wicked. They're all nerds at Homecoming, it's great. Oh, and they're the band too. Those kids are funny. Also, I found out that LAO is on Launch, and so is Waking Ashland, which makes me kind of sad. Pointless post over.
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[19 Sep 2005|09:27pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Recap of my life from the past week I think:

- Car broken into, cds gone *sob*

- Locked my keys in my car overnight, in the ignition while I went to work...Come lunch time something dawned on me that something was amiss...Me: "Where are my keys...Oh my fuck...IDIOT!" Waited for 30 mins for tow truck, got keys and clocked in from lunch without a violation so winz

- Lightening storm here again tonight...yeah >_< Lake LA should be renamed as Lightning Town or something equally as ridiculous

- Friday, my look is going to be drastically changed, winz!

- Friday or Saturday I plan to see Dear Wendy starring the sexy Jamie Bell.

The end.

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[07 Sep 2005|10:12pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

Strength Is For The WeakCollapse )

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[08 Jul 2005|08:07pm]
Can't it all just go away?
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